Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
