were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
