eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
