his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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