I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
