the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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