i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize