Pregnant stripper...not hot.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
