My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
