I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
