You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
