You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
