He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
