it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
