is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
