so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
