he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
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