she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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