Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So squirting runs in the family.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
