I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
