Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
