Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
