that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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