jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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