this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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