He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
