turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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