I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
