Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
