he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize
