she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
