so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
