I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
the condom got lost in my hair
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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