please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
