he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
