I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
