Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I want to have your abortion
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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