i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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