Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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