whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
