It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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