I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
