Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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