Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
