Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
