My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
