I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize