how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
