a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
