Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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