wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
