doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
