i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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