Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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