Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
