Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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