i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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