You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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