Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
