Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
