Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
My dick has a subreddit
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
