I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
