just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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