When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize