I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize